One Year Later

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrong doing
but rejoice with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

Everyone always warns you to stop and smell the roses the week of your wedding because the whole affair becomes a whirlwind and before you know it, you are Mr. and Mrs. with months of planning behind you. Rarely though, was I warned about how the days after turn into weeks which turn into months and you land at your one year wedding anniversary in what seems like a blink of an eye. I can recall our wedding and all of the anticipation and excitement as if it was yesterday, yet so far away.

Last weekend, my husband and I woke up to a calm, cool, July morning without a cloud in the sky and as we sat outside we compared the day to the day we were wed. This led us into a conversation of reminscing about the day and all of what has happened since then. We laughed, smiled, and loved that morning a little more then an ordinary day. It is my vow in our marriage to make sure days like that are not few and far between. Life is short and it goes quickly, just like weddings, and embracing whatever it is you are experiencing in the here and now is vital.

So while we would normally be celebrating 11 years on August 6th, this year, we start back at one and celebrate our first anniversary as husband and wife-a very new and exciting journey. I look forward to what is to come and toast to the future.

Guest Post- Family & Vendors

This post comes from one of my very best friends. Carroll Anne and I have been friends since we were clad in braces with frizzy hair (trust me we have come along way). She got married right before I did in 2009 and thankfully provided me with so much advice, inspiration, and sanity in the months and weeks before my wedding. Carroll Anne offered the following advice about using family members as vendors.

If you're lucky enough to have a family member in the wedding planning business or even one who has always dreamed of being in the business, my bridal advice to you would be to...LET THEM HELP!

Planning a wedding is an enormous task, and having someone whom you know and trust guide the way during any aspect of your planning is a huge asset! In getting ready for my March, 2009 wedding, I was fortunate that my uncle is a florist. He's worked for a bunch of different companies and currently works for 1-800 FLOWERS. He is a natural at designing arrangements and has done so for practically his whole career. While using him to design my centerpieces and bouquets was a no-brainer, I did have some questions and/or hesitations when it came down to meeting with him "formally" for the first time.

1.) Will he understand what I want?

2.) Will his style clash with mine?

3.) How much do I pay him?

4.) What if I don't end up liking his work?

While these questions brought me a bit of anxiety, the first meeting with him went well and I was feeling relatively calm until the day he brought over a sample of the initial arrangements for the centerpieces. Unfortunately..I HATED THEM! The vision I had in my head was NOT displayed in the sample he presented to me. I felt awful, but I had to tell him I wasn't happy. He was initially a bit hurt (as I imagined he might be), but I simply told him that "this was not what I was picturing." He ended up re-vamping the design and worked tirelessly for two full days before my wedding re-constructing the twenty centerpieces that I needed for the dinner tables (don't think my neighborhood florist would have taken that time or effort to make sure everything turned out the way I wanted it to).

On my wedding day, the centerpieces turned out looking gorgeous! The bouquets were equally as beautiful--my uncle was proud, and I was a thrilled bride! To this day, my uncle and I are closer than we've ever been because of our "business arrangement" regarding my wedding flowers. And of course...my flowers were a fraction of the cost, had my uncle not taken care of them.

Word to the wise: Definitely let the family help out if they are willing to do so! In the end, you'll be happy you did. Good luck!

Black tie? Blue tie?

It's pretty crucial to state the dress code on your invitation or you will likely field questions about attire. There are so many different types of dress codes and every bride seems to have a different idea about what each one means. I'm going to try and clear it up for you.

White Tie: Is not frequently used today, but you may (if you are royalty or travel in that circle) see it on an invitation from time to time. This is the most formal of all options. Men it means tails and you guessed it a white tie. Ladies long gowns only and you may want to break out gloves.

Black Tie, Black Tie Required: The most common of formal attire. Men it means a tuxedo and for the women it really means formal. Ladies will wear long gowns, but a formal cocktail length dress is acceptable. Brides keep in mind if you are requiring that people wear black tie your groomsmen must be in tuxedos. Maids should be in long dresses, but I've seen the rule broken.

Black Tie Optional, Black Tie Requested, Black Tie Invited: This is also very common for formal events. Men it means tuxedo if you have one or can rent one, but if not, a black suit is acceptable. Unless you are in the immediate family and will be in formal pictures in which case you should wear a tuxedo. Ladies it's the same as above, but more women may tend to wear formal cocktail length dresses. This is my suggestion if you are having a formal wedding. It may be a really big hassle to have guests go out and rent a tuxedo. Brides if you are using this dress code it's reasonable to assume your groomsmen should be in tuxedos, however, you can be a little more flexible with the tuxedo (i.e. leaving out elements like a cummerbund or vest). Maids can wear cocktail length dresses, but I'd still do long if possible.

Note: Formal and Black Tie Optional mean the same thing.

Semi-Formal: This is the most common of all wedding dress codes. Men this means suit (jacket and tie). Ladies cocktail dresses, leave the sundress and formal gown at home. Brides your groomsmen can wear suits.

Informal: This is typical for an afternoon wedding. Men it means trousers (not jeans) and a collared shirt. Most etiquette books would suggest a suit (dark or light) with or without a tie.

Destination Weddings: In general I'd make sure to consult the bride or host of the event. For the most part men can wear linen pants and a collared shirt and ladies can wear sun dresses. This is going to vary depending on the event and the place.

In general if you are confused about the attire consult the host. If you are going to be included in formal pictures be sure to ask the bride and even then always be on the formal side.

Did I leave something out? What was your dress code?

Invitation Formality

You never realize how much goes into those wedding invitations that usually arrive and get stuffed in a drawer or placed on the fridge until the date approaches. Once you are a bride you realize that there are so many questions to ask when it comes to invitations and what to write, but my take on it is to know your event before even attempting to cross that bridge. What I mean by that is make sure you and your future husband have an understanding of what you want the affair to be. Are you expecting guests in tuxedos? long gowns? beach dresses? khakis?.

The invitation is the first piece of the wedding that your guests are getting a taste of and so the formality, or lack thereof, should be sensed when they recieve it. For black tie and formal affairs, font is typically in a black font, embossed or engraved, lined envelopes and limited designs outside monograms. The words are written in proper etiquette form, ie " Mr and Mrs Smith request the honour of your presence" and the font is something classic and easy to read. For more laid back affairs, for instance backyard events, the words can be more casual. Think -rhymes, poems, etc. The color can vary and the design on the invite can also be more colorful and playful.

These are both extremes, but if your affair falls somewhere inbetween you can take bits and pieces from both to form the perfect invite. The font can be dark, but not necessarily black, their can be a bit more creativity with the addition of some form of design, and the wording can be proper but not completely out of your Emily Post etiquette book. The cardstock doesn't have to be the best, but shouldn't be flimsy either (FYI-110lb card stock is the standard, average card stock for those of you like me who had no clue when we began this process)and the font can be something a bit more exotic.

There are no real right or wrongs when it comes to invitations as long as they properly convey the type of event, and inevitably, the two of you as a couple. Going forward, I would save the invites that come in the mail so they can help spur ideas and inspirations.So what were/are your greatest invite questions? We'd love to be able to help!

Save this Seat

If you are having a large and or long ceremony you may want to consider reserving seats for your immediate family and bridesmaids.

There are several different ways of doing this. First, is simply to make your bridesmaids and immediate family aware that they are to sit in the first two rows, bridesmaids in the first row family behind them. In some churches maids will sit on the altar or to the side of it. For short ceremonies the wedding party may stand next the bride and groom. You would want to simply put a reserved sign on the first two or three rows.

image via Karen Wise

Another way of reserving seats is to send out within the ribbon cards to immediate family and close friends. These cards would match your invitation suite and be sent with the invitation to the family members that you wish to reserve seats for. In this case the first few rows (or however many you will need) will be ribboned off or have a sign that says reserved.

image via crane.com

image via brides.ca

Both of these cases work well if you have pews or rows of seating as you would not specify the order in which people sit.

In cases where you have individual seats that make up the rows and not one pew you may want to specify order. In which case signs on each individual chairs is a nice idea. Signs can be placed directly on the seat or on the chair back.

image via Aaron Delesie

Image via brides collection by Anthony Vazquez

If you love the idea of signs but don't want to specify order simple signs like these could be used.

image via Myrtle & Marjoram

Reserved seating may not be a required item in a ceremony by any means, but it does add to church decor and is a very easy and low budget DIY item.

I want to know are you reserving seats?

Vendor Spotlight- Makeup by Melinda

This vendor spotlight comes from my favorite makeup guru. I met Melinda when she was the manager at Blue Mercury in Woodbury, NY. She has such a way of making people look like a better version of their natural self. She is a featured vendor with LIWEDDINGS.COM and have my own private portfolio of wedding makeup I have done over the years. You can contact me Melinda Sarabia @ (516)650-9340 orMelstar72@aol.com.

Here is our interview with Melinda:

SB: Tell us a little about yourself?

M: I fell in love with doing makeup over 13 years ago. I first thought of it as a "job" to get me through college. I didn't realized how exciting it would be and that it would become apart of my life and much less of a just a job. Clinique gave me my start and I built a good foundation, from there on I worked with some leading brands in the industry including in depth experience with MAC, Laura Mercier, and NARS. After my first bridal makeup experience, which happened shortly after I started doing makeup, I became hooked. I immediately fell in love with the process and began doing them regularly. Now years later I am proud to say I am a successful makeup artist here in Long Island, NY that services brides. I enjoy every aspect of doing makeup for the bride and her entourage and feel lucky when she chooses me among the rest. It is always a privilege. I assure all ofmy brides when they choose me, that she is hiring a professional individual that cares about her ideas and feelings. It's ok to open and honest with me because I will be your beauty bud every step of the way!

SB: What inspires you?

M: I am inspired all the time. nature, music, moods and fashion inspire me most. When I see a face I'm immediately thinking what features I would enhance without looking like makeup. What alterations can I make to this person makeup.

SB: You are one of the first people around when the bride is getting ready on the big day, how do you handle this?

M: With a smile, sense of calm, and a little humor. I tell my brides relish in the moment because before you know it the last swipe of lip gloss will be gone.

images from bride's personal collection via Anthony Vazquez

images from bride's personal collection via Anthony Vazquez

SB: What is the biggest makeup mistakes that brides tend to make?

M: Not understanding that you can't fake good skin and that you should address skin concerns from the beginning. Do not wait a week before the wedding and (if possible) have a makeup trial during the season in which you will be getting married.

SB: Oh, about Makeup trials do you always suggest a makeup trial before?

M: Yes!!! I have had the occasional "my friends makeup was amazing and I trust you" which is great and flattering, but I like to know what your beauty needs are, the textu

re of your skin, the color of your eyes. I like to set the stage for the day of.

SB: Would you rather a bride bring in an inspirational photo for makeup or come up with what looks best on her ?

M: Whatever the bride is comfortable with. I work it either way. As long as I know the level of makeup she is comfortable with we are good.

SB: For the brides that decide that a professional makeup artist isn't in their budget what advice would you give them?

M: I would suggest seeing a professional before hand. I have had many brides who get hitched on an island and come to me for a lesson and beauty must haves. If you comfortable with your skills and interested in learning more then go for it.

images from bride's collection via Anthony Vazquez

image from bride's personal collection via Anthony Vazquez

images from Melinda's personal collection

Another Guest Book Idea

Last week, S shared an excellent post on new and innovative ideas around guest books. Using a wine bottle, or two, as a guest book is another modern way for guests to share with you their best wishes. Blythe, our guest blogger and dear friend last week, also used this great idea.

By simply peeling the labels and providing guests with a metallic marker, guests can leisurely sign the bottles with their thoughts for you and your new husband throughout the night. These bottles can then be displayed in your new homes and opened on special occasions. You can place multiple bottles out and label them with when they will be opened such as first anniversary, first night in your new home, first child, etc. When sharing the wine as husband and wife, you will be reminded of your special day and all those around you that shared in it. For a former bride who is currently experiencing quite a bit of nostalgia as her first anniversary approaches, I can't help but adore this idea and all the love it has to offer!

Photo credit- Bigmouthbride