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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Second thoughts on the Dress

This is my story; I was totally that bride that bought a beautiful dress during a very overwhelming day of dress shopping. I followed almost none of F's great advice. I brought so many people with me. I let everyone else have opinions and I doubted myself. I visited only two salons and never even tried on the dress I had been imagining since I started planning. Almost immediately after purchasing the dress I had second thoughts. I wasn't really sure what to do and hesitated to tell my mom or my sister about my second thoughts. Mostly, because I loved the dress shopping experience and I did not want them to take my second thoughts personally. In addition, I did not want to see like a crazy bridezilla. I originally wrote my dress second thoughts off to the fact that the dress I picked was totally different than the dress I imagined I would be wearing. After a few weeks I was still looking at my original dream dress and wondering how everything got so off track. The next few months of wedding planning were intense and I sort of pushed my dress second thoughts to the back of my mind. I picked out details that I loved! However, I kept finding myself searching for dresses online. Googling things like "Picked the wrong wedding dress" & "How to sell a brand new wedding dress online." I let too much time pass before I cried to my mom a few months before the wedding. My mother immediately told me, that I was simply emotional and overwhelmed. She assured me that I picked the right dress. I was still not assured. I called my wedding dress salon and asked them what my options were. Unfortunately, not much. It was only a few months until my wedding and my dress was already in production. To add more to the kicker I customized parts of my dress which made it impossible for them to take the dress back as a sample. Basically, my only option sell my original dress and buy a sample. I decided I was going to go try on the dress I had been lusting after for the last few months and a few others that I liked. I brought my mom and my sister with me and prepared them both that I needed them to be honest and I needed them to think about the entire situation not just their opinion about my dress. Well, I tried on the dress and I was right, it was perfect. I thought it was perfect. My mom and sister were unconvinced they started listing the reasons why this dress wasn't perfect. The scenario repeated itself for several more dresses. Finally, my mom made me try on the original sample of my dress. I liked my dress, but I didn't love it. I didn't feel it was me. There was no denying the dress was beautiful and really fit the venue, but I still had second thoughts. My mom in her true mom fashion. Told me point blank, get over it. We bought this dress. We are not buying another dress. Suck it up. Get over it and enjoy the next few months of planning. I left pretty angry with her. It took me a few days to even talk to her, but after we spoke I realized she was right. I could not spend another insane amount of money on a brand new dress. I had a beautiful dress and I was going to have a beautiful wedding. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think about the other dress again and wish that I had picked that one, but I knew it was just a dress. It wasn't the whole wedding. IT IS JUST A DRESS.

The day of my wedding I never once thought that my dress wasn't perfect. I never thought oh my wedding is ruined because I'm not wearing the dress I imagined I would. I thought this is the best day of my life and I look beautiful. Mom- I'm so glad I listened to you, ha.

Want to see pictures of what I wore and what I thought I wanted to wear?

First my dress:

Image Credits: Anthony Vazquez

Image Credits : Bride's personal collection

Now my original dress thoughts:
I was looking for something like this style, simple, but with some embellishment.

Image Credit: Amsale

The second and last dress are the dresses I imagined. I called them my dream dresses.

Image Credits: Brides.com

Our goal here is to help make you sane, if you take away any lessons from my story it would be First, Follow Francesca's advice about dress shopping. Secondly, Don't buy the dress the first day. Wait the dress is not going to disappear, I promise. Thirdly, If your second thoughts happen as quickly as mine did, call the salon and cancel the order. Go back in and dress shop again. Most salons will cancel the order within 24 hours and will more than helpful with finding you a new dress. Fourth, If you are like me and wait too long and are stuck with the fact that you cannot wear your original dress. Sell it and buy a sample. Sites like this , this, or this can help. In addition ebay always has tons of listings of dresses as well as weddingbee classifieds.

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